I think I’ve lost it.

Badly.

Advertisements

Madam Sabeena Jamshed- My newfound inspiration.

newBlog

What I love about life is the word itself- LIFE! Living the length and breadth of it. Like all poets ,I derive my inspiration from this subject.

And when I talk about my life, some people are ought to be mentioned in the course of it.
A newfound source of gleaming sunshine added to my life in disguise of a colleague. Sabeena Jamshed Ma’m , her name. The head of humanities department at Eastern Public School, Bhopal. It’s not been much time working with her, just a few months. But this little time was enough to make me realise how some people affect your life in a kazillion ways with their little gestures of affection. And she did the same! Exactly the same!

Officially I am her colleague but I actually like to call myself her student. It’s because of teachers like her who came into my life that I fell in love with this profession.
There are some people in your life who put such an immense level of trust in you that you strive very hard to excel and if you return failed, they welcome you with equal vigor. In her, I found an image of a doting mother who would concernedly worry for the important things in your life, a jolly friend who’d put all her efforts to cheer you up when you’re feeling blue. And so much more! This makes me realise , some significant relationships are born out of blood line.

It’s been an exotic experience of seamless learning with her.

Cheers!

Zenab Khan- My Childhood Pal.

There i was siting idle. Looking plainly at the wall opposite to me. Unknowing of what life would bring to me. It was just a sudden jolting action that brings me to the consciousness that there must be something more than this.

Recalling the good times i have had. The first and foremost thing i am reminded of is my blessed childhood. There’s no way i can stop myself from  this. And when you recall your childhood, it’s your childhood friend who comes to your brain. Bold, caps , italicized her name goes- ZENAB KHAN ! ! !

And my heart and brain together moulds itself to that first day of school, the first hour, first moment with someone. My childhood buddy. I can go ga ga for her the whole day and night and it would still not be enough. yes, that’s how it goes. the only name i recall in times of happiness and sadness. not every relation i have is this special. You are that one dear to me Zenab.

20 years of absolute bliss!! 20 years of pure friendship. 20 years of smiles and laughters. 20 years of all struggles fought. 20 years of happiness and not a single fight. 20 years of love redefined. 20 years of simplicity. 20 years of awesomeness. 20 years of closeness. 20 years of thew wind bringing us closer. 20 years of uncertainty. 20 years of something. 20 years of an unexplained joy. 20 years of a reason-less relationship. 20 years of this undemanded, unquestionable duos.

Guys, these are the incredible 20 years of our FRIENDSHIP.

“MARYAM KHATOON & ZENAB KHAN”.

Every time we were together, it made me forget the sanity of life and jolts me in a world of euphoria, like time has suddenly got it’s reason to smile, like everything has suddenly been brought to halt. like life coming closer, like falling stars from the sky ,Like i am talking not with my mouth but with my heart, like there are no ears listening to me, a heart listens.

Like i know the boundaries of my world. Not once did we fought in these 20 years. When together like everything fell in it’s place. No pain left to be healed, no wounds left to be removed. Like an all new of everything. Close your eyes and this busy world will come to a beautiful; standstill.

Like you can not find a stop to stop the conversation. the river and stream dont stop to flow, inspired by the energy of this bond inspired by the force between elements of this diverse world. Everything coming close like it never did before. Like the emotion got a new color, a new wave of communicating , a new of everything that your eyes can envision.

Thanks for being there 🙂

A Teacher’s Tale

image

Engulfed by darkness. Reaching for light.

We never really know the essence of life unless we come close to it. So, how do we come close to it? Grown up in a perfectly pampered up environment, my life would essentially circle around a bunch of cool friends, mediocre lifestyle status, scoring good grades, gearing up for a professional course and basically having fun!

It was only when i finished school and stepped into the world with an unprepared mind for the black and white of the society did i really understand what it takes to be a strong person, to win and lose, to rise and fall, to love, to fail, to fight, to cry, to live and let live.

Owing to the unpredictability of life, i can say, i have seen a lot of it. Quite a Lot! And all of that has gone into the mix for the one and only ambition of my life. The only goal with which i get up everyday from bed. That gives my life it’s meaning.

 To touch lives.

This is what my journey of life is all about. A university topper in computer science chosen by one of India’s leading MNC gives up the lust of the top notch corporate life and goes to become a teacher. Yes, a T-E-A-C-H-E-R . Not that an inspiring story do I have. Just a common girl with uncommon dreams starts her career as a teacher. Plain and simple.
The reason I chose this profession was because I see a lot of things amiss in our societies. I do not target those high level extraordinary qualities of piety, it’s the very basic of emotions like compassion, honesty, equality and love that we devastatingly continuously are failing at. I don’t seek a revolutionary change nor do I intend to erase those huge social stigmas from society because I know I won’t be able to do so. But I want to build up a character in my students such that they know the basic difference between the right and the wrong. To love. To live a life on principles. To fight for truth. To fail with honesty and stand with pride. To be unbiased and never to lie.

I am teaching in Eastern Public School Bhopal. It’s the only IB school in my town. Currently the class teacher for grade 6, I must say I am having a great time. This gives me just the right opportunity of instilling not just academic concepts into their brains but to train my lovely boys and girls with the essence of life.

A bit of philosophical overdose?
May be yes. But that’s how I go and I feel happy each time when one of my students stand up for truth and refrain to lie.

Opening the window to Humanity.

Never To Be A Woman Again

image

She came in this world with a smile
Opened her eyes to people she’d call family
Cuddled, caressed and pampered
By kins.

When she was four
The trail of sacrifices began
Her toy was snatched
To be given to her brother.

When she was seven
She quietened her desire
For the expensive pen
They would call it useless.

When she was eighteen
She wanted to learn science
Unworthy she was proven
Forced into her dislike.

When she was twenty three
She wanted to teach
They found a match
Got her married.

When she was thirty
She yearned to fulfil her dreams
Thrashed by life faces
Shooed away her dreams.

When she was fifty
She knew it won’t make a difference
It won’t come back
It won’t work anymore.

Obediently, she let the funeral of her desires
Take a ride.
Bid them off to never call them again.

She fought , she failed.
She cried, she pained
She dreamed, she drained.

She cursed herself.
Never to be a woman again.

Mrs Amrita Tiwari- My Torchbearer

The glass of nostalgia reaches it’s brim and heavily overflows when i recall my 10th grade class teacher, Mrs Amrita Tiwari. 

Magical bird takes flight.

She gave me wings.

The 2007-2008 academic calendar marked the valorous historic period of my life. If i write a book on it. I’d name it “101 shades of My Life”. I was not walking then, i was running in fact galloping faster than time. Reaching for everything that my eyes could see. Fearless my soul. Gallant my spirits.

My motto was-

Get Guts. Get Glory.

Among those numerous strands, my moments with Mrs Amrita rank highest. Every conversation that we had is anchored to my consciousness. Even those non-verbal ones when she was pleased/displeased with me, perch upon the very center of my brain. Do you wonder, why so? I’ll tell you. This woman overlooked the outer shell of my rough appearance and touched the right chords. Tuned to the right frequency. Calibrated the scales and played a music to me that was hypnotizing. And lost i was in it’s melody, it sent me on a voyage which helped me identify my potentials that were lying idle. She dug out the real person in me. I have heard, love has a lot of power. With her, i saw, how powerfully transforming, the effects of love can be.

Once,  she said to me, “The greatest gift a student can give to their teachers is by studying well, flaring with flying colors”. After an enormous gap of 8 big years, i stand with my education completed(hopefully 😉 Unless, i decide to go for PhD), I achieved a blissful 10 sgpa in my 6th semester exams, topped the university charts. I don’t know, if i made her proud, atleast it’s one of the best things i have done in my life 🙂

I have tried expressing my emotions for her through the following poem. She was a prism through which happiness can be scattered in different wavelengths. Words can’t really describe it all. Yet, an attempt.

Strewn along the spaces of my mind

Are the words you had with me.

Poised your walk, gentle your speech

Simplicity made a remarkable sheen.

Glistening the ambience

With your compassion

Fondling and snuggling

Knowing each child’s streak.

Rugged as a rock or black as coal

Your tender hands

Smoothened all surfaces

Bringing us clean.

A puddle of daily problems

A massacre of life tragedies

Your wand of love

Gusted the filth away.

I question myself

What is it?

That makes you different.

The indulgence, kindness or the thoughtfulness?

It is your soft touch that brought us smiles.

Your warm soul that melted hearts.

The mildness that moulded our brains.

The passion that set new shores.

Enamored with your charisma

I feel so blessed.

Gifted a teacher like you

Removed my life’s stress.

Swept, I was, by cold winds

Torn by the blades of scorn

Grieved by the shades of life

Your words made me strong.

Like the rays of dawn

Penetrating the darkness of night.

Like the wings of a bird

Promising a flight.

Like the scent of a flower

Stimulating my senses.

Like the waves of a sea

Breaking my fences.

Unbound to blood

Unrestricted play of colors.

A timeless connection

That brought me wonders.