Rain of Agony

Soaking in the Rain.

Soaking in the Rain.

Every night, i watch the sky, adore at the vast beauty of it and wonder, are you watching it too? are we watching it together? You told me to look at the moon if i miss you. Here i am. I am looking at it. Are you looking at it too? It rained this evening and i let my soul drench in it because you once said, you loved rain. I watched the rain drops settling on my fingers, slipping across the center of my palm, paving their way to the ground, i tried to collect them, i closed my fist hard, very hard, but it slipped away. Reminding me of how destiny beautifully brought us together later tearing us apart. I watched the long leaves of the coconut tree flowing with the wind, forced to fall apart but they stayed their. Firm. Reminding me of how passionately close you brought yourself to me, fearing if i’d go. It felt cold under the rain. The water has penetrated deep, it removed all the mud over the buried memories. Echoing your name to me. Loud, very loud. The wind rushed upon the door, leaving it’s left pane open. Reminding me of how you walked through the door to greet me every morning. The splatter of raindrops in the courtyard made some music, reminding me of the melody of your voice.I saw a flower lying on the road. Crushed by the heavy waters. Reminding me of the first rose you gave me. I shivered at the lightning stroke. It was creepy. Not as creepy as the day when, i knew, i’d never see you again. I could combat these thunders. They were not as mighty as those gruesome dark nights when i endlessly sobbed and shouted your name loud, if my voice could reach you. Now, i whisper your name. It’s still the most beautiful sound for me. The only difference is, then, it used to cheer me up, now, it shatters me.

The rain has stopped. Everything is still. As still as my abandoned soul.

42 thoughts on “Rain of Agony

  1. AdiC says:

    Ouch! The pain of a broken heart never fully subsides, does it?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. rehmanjafar says:

    I remember writing a long comment on this post the other night,can’t see it now. Maybe it went to spam or it never got published.


  3. maryam191 says:

    No no. No scope of minutest happiness with that kind of loss. One just drudges on with life because you have to. Breathe in and breathe out. Those broken pieces of memories burn inside. Loss is loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. maryam191 says:

    May be you are right. But it takes time.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Beautifully written…any reader would feel the pain and remember the darkest phase of his life on reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dileep Sankhla says:

    “Reading line 3-5-7-…” and my heart began to squeeze my diaphragm. At once, I lost my heart!
    Don’t ache in the pain of last year’s monsoon…
    Monsoon is arriving… πŸ™‚
    And then, it will go..
    Then in the next year, it will arrive again with a lot of vigor.
    Never loose the hope!
    It’s the part of one’s life.


  7. AA says:

    Beauty of words!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. TEARA90 says:

    Somehow this post just makes me want to send you a big virtual hug!! Cheers maryam πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  9. mahagha says:

    This makes me cry… :/

    Beautifully written. Every word made me feel heavy with emotion!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sripurna says:

    Reblogged this on What more is tomorrow… and commented:
    There are moments when you think that your blog will have ONLY your creations. And then you see writings like this one which you just HAVE to share. Trust me, my heart broke into pieces after reading this. 😦


  11. Bhramori says:

    I… don’t really know what to say. I’m just gonna say this: I know loss. I’ve had painful examples in my life. I’m not gonna say that it’s alright, because it never is, not until you tell yourself so. Just know that there are so many people out there who’re going through the same kind of misery that you are. You’re not alone. Just try to keep the smile on your face (and bring it to your heart), because that might just bring a sliver of hope to one of those miserable people who might be passing you by this instant…
    I’m sending you a giant virtual hug right now ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Gosh I love this. So so beautifully written, capturing the heart break and pain that comes with it so perfectly…You are so talented Maryam πŸ™‚

    Hope you are doing great. Lots of love to you,
    Zee ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • maryam191 says:

      Can’t say anything on the talent matter πŸ˜› I just keep trying. Collecting thoughts, inculcating them and sometimes it works out, surprisingly πŸ˜›
      So finally you are back! There are long days of your absence from wp. I wondered many times in the recent gap that you took to drop a message of how you are doing. Some bloggers somehow connect with us at a different level and you are one if them. What are you doing? Studying medicine?
      Lots of love to you πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Saya says:

    I agree whole-heartedly with Zee…beautiful post…one can feel your pain and loss…and gets reminded of their own pain and loss…

    Liked by 1 person

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