I think I’ve lost it.

Badly.

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Madam Sabeena Jamshed- My newfound inspiration.

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What I love about life is the word itself- LIFE! Living the length and breadth of it. Like all poets ,I derive my inspiration from this subject.

And when I talk about my life, some people are ought to be mentioned in the course of it.
A newfound source of gleaming sunshine added to my life in disguise of a colleague. Sabeena Jamshed Ma’m , her name. The head of humanities department at Eastern Public School, Bhopal. It’s not been much time working with her, just a few months. But this little time was enough to make me realise how some people affect your life in a kazillion ways with their little gestures of affection. And she did the same! Exactly the same!

Officially I am her colleague but I actually like to call myself her student. It’s because of teachers like her who came into my life that I fell in love with this profession.
There are some people in your life who put such an immense level of trust in you that you strive very hard to excel and if you return failed, they welcome you with equal vigor. In her, I found an image of a doting mother who would concernedly worry for the important things in your life, a jolly friend who’d put all her efforts to cheer you up when you’re feeling blue. And so much more! This makes me realise , some significant relationships are born out of blood line.

It’s been an exotic experience of seamless learning with her.

Cheers!

Zenab Khan- My Childhood Pal.

There i was siting idle. Looking plainly at the wall opposite to me. Unknowing of what life would bring to me. It was just a sudden jolting action that brings me to the consciousness that there must be something more than this.

Recalling the good times i have had. The first and foremost thing i am reminded of is my blessed childhood. There’s no way i can stop myself from ¬†this. And when you recall your childhood, it’s your childhood friend who comes to your brain. Bold, caps , italicized her name goes- ZENAB KHAN ! ! !

And my heart and brain together moulds itself to that first day of school, the first hour, first moment with someone. My childhood buddy. I can go ga ga for her the whole day and night and it would still not be enough. yes, that’s how it goes. the only name i recall in times of happiness and sadness. not every relation i have is this special. You are that one dear to me Zenab.

20 years of absolute bliss!! 20 years of pure friendship. 20 years of smiles and laughters. 20 years of all struggles fought. 20 years of happiness and not a single fight. 20 years of love redefined. 20 years of simplicity. 20 years of awesomeness. 20 years of closeness. 20 years of thew wind bringing us closer. 20 years of uncertainty. 20 years of something. 20 years of an unexplained joy. 20 years of a reason-less relationship. 20 years of this undemanded, unquestionable duos.

Guys, these are the incredible 20 years of our FRIENDSHIP.

“MARYAM KHATOON & ZENAB KHAN”.

Every time we were together, it made me forget the sanity of life and jolts me in a world of euphoria, like time has suddenly got it’s reason to smile, like everything has suddenly been brought to halt. like life coming closer, like falling stars from the sky ,Like i am talking not with my mouth but with my heart, like there are no ears listening to me, a heart listens.

Like i know the boundaries of my world. Not once did we fought in these 20 years. When together like everything fell in it’s place. No pain left to be healed, no wounds left to be removed. Like an all new of everything. Close your eyes and this busy world will come to a beautiful; standstill.

Like you can not find a stop to stop the conversation. the river and stream dont stop to flow, inspired by the energy of this bond inspired by the force between elements of this diverse world. Everything coming close like it never did before. Like the emotion got a new color, a new wave of communicating , a new of everything that your eyes can envision.

Thanks for being there ūüôā

A Teacher’s Tale

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Engulfed by darkness. Reaching for light.

We never really know the essence of life unless we come close to it. So, how do we come close to it? Grown up in a perfectly pampered up environment, my life would essentially circle around a bunch of cool friends, mediocre lifestyle status, scoring good grades, gearing up for a professional course and basically having fun!

It was only when i finished school and stepped into the world with an unprepared mind for the black and white of the society did i really understand what it takes to be a strong person, to win and lose, to rise and fall, to love, to fail, to fight, to cry, to live and let live.

Owing to the unpredictability of life, i can say, i have seen a lot of it. Quite a Lot! And all of that has gone into the mix for the one and only¬†ambition of my life. The only goal with which i get up everyday from bed. That gives my life it’s meaning.

 To touch lives.

This is what my journey of life is all about. A university topper in computer science chosen by one of India’s leading MNC gives up the lust of the top notch corporate life and goes to become a teacher. Yes, a T-E-A-C-H-E-R . Not that an inspiring story do I have. Just a common girl with uncommon dreams starts her career as a teacher. Plain and simple.
The reason I chose this profession was because I see a lot of things amiss in our societies. I do not target those high level extraordinary qualities of piety, it’s the very basic of emotions like compassion, honesty, equality and love that we devastatingly continuously are failing at. I don’t seek a revolutionary change nor do I intend to erase those huge social stigmas from society because I know I won’t be able to do so. But I want to build up a character in my students such that they know the basic difference between the right and the wrong. To love. To live a life on principles. To fight for truth. To fail with honesty and stand with pride. To be unbiased and never to lie.

I am teaching in Eastern Public School Bhopal. It’s the only IB school in my town. Currently the class teacher for grade 6, I must say I am having a great time. This gives me just the right opportunity of instilling not just academic concepts into their brains but to train my lovely boys and girls with the essence of life.

A bit of philosophical overdose?
May be yes. But that’s how I go and I feel happy each time when one of my students stand up for truth and refrain to lie.

Opening the window to Humanity.

Rain of Agony

Soaking in the Rain.

Soaking in the Rain.

Every night, i watch the sky, adore at the vast beauty of it and wonder, are you watching it too? are we watching it together? You told me to look at the moon if i miss you. Here i am. I am looking at it. Are you looking at it too? It rained this evening and i let my soul drench in it because you once said, you loved rain. I watched the rain drops settling on my fingers, slipping across the center of my palm, paving their way to the ground, i tried to collect them, i closed my fist hard, very hard, but it slipped away. Reminding me of how destiny beautifully brought us together later tearing us apart. I watched the long leaves of the coconut tree flowing with the wind, forced to fall apart but they stayed their. Firm. Reminding me of how passionately close you brought yourself to me, fearing if i’d go. It felt cold under the rain. The water has penetrated deep, it removed all the mud over the buried memories. Echoing your name to me. Loud, very loud. The wind rushed upon the door, leaving it’s left pane open. Reminding me of how you walked through the door to greet me every morning. The splatter of raindrops in the courtyard made some music, reminding me of the melody of your voice.I saw a flower lying on the road. Crushed by the heavy waters. Reminding me of the first rose you gave me. I shivered at the lightning stroke. It was creepy. Not as creepy as the day when, i knew, i’d never see you again. I could combat these thunders. They were not as mighty as those gruesome dark nights when i endlessly sobbed and shouted your name loud, if my voice could reach you. Now, i whisper your name. It’s still the most beautiful sound for me. The only difference is, then, it used to cheer me up, now, it shatters me.

The rain has stopped. Everything is still. As still as my abandoned soul.

Walking Miles

Nothing on earth is as beautiful as the sky, the stars and the moon.

Nothing on earth is as beautiful as the sky, the stars and the moon.

Why is it, that sometimes you feel lost. Feel hollow. Feel directionless. You endlessly search for a goal,for something to focus upon, for something that’ll help add meaning to your existence, something that adds value to you,something that makes you feel stronger, feel fresher,feel new and ready for this world all over again!

Yes, there are days when you need a reason that will froth your smile, That’ll plunge you into the bliss of satisfaction. Help you overcome the sour realities of life, the lost battles, the crushed dreams. ¬†And you search, search, just endlessly search…

And one day you hear a voice in your head, may be God loves you the most, may be you are his strongest soldier, may be you are that unsung warrior who’s valor is sky high. And this makes you different.

And you connect to the following lines,

The woods are lovely,dark and deep

But,  I have many promises keep

And miles to go before i sleep

Miles to go before i sleep.

-Robert Frost

On this journey of miles you see that undying love in your mother’s eyes, you nestle in her warmth. It feels good. You see a friend who doesn’t cry with you,but tries his best to make you laugh. Pokes and nudges you. It feels good. You see your blog followers, genuine and honest with their compassion. It feels good. You see the vast sky , decorated with stars and moon. It feels good.

And you suddenly realize-Life has a meaning. You reinvent your soul. The bubble of your life takes it rise. Higher towards the blue sky. Defining new goals. This time your feet doesn’t tremble to walk because you fly.

Enclosing within it, lots of love from family, friends and followers.

P.S.  A thank note to my family, dear friends and some very special blog followers.  Their support was much needed.

The Door to Peace

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Here follows a much heard old hindi song, with it’s english translation. The reason I share it here is to kindle the light of hope in every heart across the globe. Believe me , the melody of the song will enthrall you.

The current era, where goodness is almost forgotten. Brother shedding brother’s blood. Homes are no more a haven. Women are safe nowhere.¬† Innocent children losing their lives to barbarism. Suicide bombers and what not ?

Massacre killings have become common. Life remaines with little meaning to itself, uncertainty has surrounded us from all sides. Bomb blasts shattering our souls. You never know, a smiling person you met in the morning,  can be shot with an AK-47 for no reason at all?

Ridiculously painful this is.

In such times when humanity is almost synonymous with brutality. Commoners like you and me,  whose voice often goes unheard, whose pleadings are mere documents stacked in piles of records, who can only sigh watching the pains of their beloved fellows. We need to connect. We need to be together. To give each other courage.

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I write this post because the recent terribly painful Peshawar attack shaked my being from it’s root of existence. I actually sensed the fear, spent a sleepless night. Words fall short of how grieved my heart was , watching the plight of our fellows across the border.

Let’s respond to this call. Let’s stand together. Let’s hold hands. Let’s become one. Let’s forget the differences among us. Let’s pray for goodness to strike our lives again. Let’s connect to every other miserable soul like our’s. Let’s ignite a flame that’ll enlighten self conscious to make this world a better place .

We shall overcome some day…

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The Song

Hum Honge kaamyaab, hum honge kaamyaab 
hum honge kaamyaab ek din 
ho ho mann main hai vishwas 
poora hai vishwas 
hum honge kaamyaab ek din. 

[We shall overcome, we shall overcome
We shall overcome some day
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe
We shall overcome some day]

hogi shanti charo aur , hogi shanti charo aur 
hogi shanti charo aur ek din 
ho ho mann main hai vishwas 
poora hai vishwas 
hogi shanti charo aur ek din 

[We shall live in peace, we shall live in peace
We shall live in peace some day
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe
We shall live in peace some day.]

hum chalenge saath saath 
dale haathon main haath 
hum chalenge saath saath ek din 
ho ho ho mann main hai vishwas 
poora hai vishwas 
hum chalenge saath saath ek din. 

[We’ll walk hand in hand
We’ll walk hand in hand some day
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe
We’ll walk hand in hand some day.]

Nahi darr kisi ka aaj 
nahi bhay kisi ka aaj 
Nahi darr kisi ka aaj ke din 
ho ho mann main hai vishwas 
poora hai vishwas 
nahi darr kisi ka aaj ke din.

[We are not afraid
We are not afraid some day
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe
We are not afraid some day.]

Please listen to this song. Its beautifully composed.

https://m.soundcloud.com/ahmed-abdulraoof/hum-honge-kamyab-we-shall