Zenab Khan- My Childhood Pal.

There i was siting idle. Looking plainly at the wall opposite to me. Unknowing of what life would bring to me. It was just a sudden jolting action that brings me to the consciousness that there must be something more than this.

Recalling the good times i have had. The first and foremost thing i am reminded of is my blessed childhood. There’s no way i can stop myself from ┬áthis. And when you recall your childhood, it’s your childhood friend who comes to your brain. Bold, caps , italicized her name goes- ZENAB KHAN ! ! !

And my heart and brain together moulds itself to that first day of school, the first hour, first moment with someone. My childhood buddy. I can go ga ga for her the whole day and night and it would still not be enough. yes, that’s how it goes. the only name i recall in times of happiness and sadness. not every relation i have is this special. You are that one dear to me Zenab.

20 years of absolute bliss!! 20 years of pure friendship. 20 years of smiles and laughters. 20 years of all struggles fought. 20 years of happiness and not a single fight. 20 years of love redefined. 20 years of simplicity. 20 years of awesomeness. 20 years of closeness. 20 years of thew wind bringing us closer. 20 years of uncertainty. 20 years of something. 20 years of an unexplained joy. 20 years of a reason-less relationship. 20 years of this undemanded, unquestionable duos.

Guys, these are the incredible 20 years of our FRIENDSHIP.

“MARYAM KHATOON & ZENAB KHAN”.

Every time we were together, it made me forget the sanity of life and jolts me in a world of euphoria, like time has suddenly got it’s reason to smile, like everything has suddenly been brought to halt. like life coming closer, like falling stars from the sky ,Like i am talking not with my mouth but with my heart, like there are no ears listening to me, a heart listens.

Like i know the boundaries of my world. Not once did we fought in these 20 years. When together like everything fell in it’s place. No pain left to be healed, no wounds left to be removed. Like an all new of everything. Close your eyes and this busy world will come to a beautiful; standstill.

Like you can not find a stop to stop the conversation. the river and stream dont stop to flow, inspired by the energy of this bond inspired by the force between elements of this diverse world. Everything coming close like it never did before. Like the emotion got a new color, a new wave of communicating , a new of everything that your eyes can envision.

Thanks for being there ­čÖé

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A Teacher’s Tale

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Engulfed by darkness. Reaching for light.

We never really know the essence of life unless we come close to it. So, how do we come close to it? Grown up in a perfectly pampered up environment, my life would essentially circle around a bunch of cool friends, mediocre lifestyle status, scoring good grades, gearing up for a professional course and basically having fun!

It was only when i finished school and stepped into the world with an unprepared mind for the black and white of the society did i really understand what it takes to be a strong person, to win and lose, to rise and fall, to love, to fail, to fight, to cry, to live and let live.

Owing to the unpredictability of life, i can say, i have seen a lot of it. Quite a Lot! And all of that has gone into the mix for the one and only┬áambition of my life. The only goal with which i get up everyday from bed. That gives my life it’s meaning.

 To touch lives.

This is what my journey of life is all about. A university topper in computer science chosen by one of India’s leading MNC gives up the lust of the top notch corporate life and goes to become a teacher. Yes, a T-E-A-C-H-E-R . Not that an inspiring story do I have. Just a common girl with uncommon dreams starts her career as a teacher. Plain and simple.
The reason I chose this profession was because I see a lot of things amiss in our societies. I do not target those high level extraordinary qualities of piety, it’s the very basic of emotions like compassion, honesty, equality and love that we devastatingly continuously are failing at. I don’t seek a revolutionary change nor do I intend to erase those huge social stigmas from society because I know I won’t be able to do so. But I want to build up a character in my students such that they know the basic difference between the right and the wrong. To love. To live a life on principles. To fight for truth. To fail with honesty and stand with pride. To be unbiased and never to lie.

I am teaching in Eastern Public School Bhopal. It’s the only IB school in my town. Currently the class teacher for grade 6, I must say I am having a great time. This gives me just the right opportunity of instilling not just academic concepts into their brains but to train my lovely boys and girls with the essence of life.

A bit of philosophical overdose?
May be yes. But that’s how I go and I feel happy each time when one of my students stand up for truth and refrain to lie.

Opening the window to Humanity.

Never To Be A Woman Again

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She came in this world with a smile
Opened her eyes to people she’d call family
Cuddled, caressed and pampered
By kins.

When she was four
The trail of sacrifices began
Her toy was snatched
To be given to her brother.

When she was seven
She quietened her desire
For the expensive pen
They would call it useless.

When she was eighteen
She wanted to learn science
Unworthy she was proven
Forced into her dislike.

When she was twenty three
She wanted to teach
They found a match
Got her married.

When she was thirty
She yearned to fulfil her dreams
Thrashed by life faces
Shooed away her dreams.

When she was fifty
She knew it won’t make a difference
It won’t come back
It won’t work anymore.

Obediently, she let the funeral of her desires
Take a ride.
Bid them off to never call them again.

She fought , she failed.
She cried, she pained
She dreamed, she drained.

She cursed herself.
Never to be a woman again.

Two Friends

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Together as kids
They fought and giggled.

Together as seven year olds
They raced bicycles.

Together As tweens
they played nintendo

Together as teens
They explored the world.

Together as adults
They envisioned their future.

But now
Something has changed

They are together
No more.

Why?
Did they fought?

They’d have fought
had they been the same.

As directions changed
So did THEY.

As paths changed
So did their thoughts.

As choices changed
So did their hearts.

As hearts changed,
So did their emotions.

As life changed
So did EVERYTHING.

Was it supposed to be like this?
Friends turning strangers.

From incessant chatting
To a casual ‘hi’ on Sundays.

If this easily friends change,
Never call anyone ‘best friend’ again.

If this cold friends can be
Never trust them again.

If this shallow they turn out
Never confide in them again.

If this is how friendship concludes
Never make friends again.

Why do people malign love?
When a broken friendship equally pains.

Who’s fault is it?
To shatter these mortals.

Is their any solemner loss
Than an estranged friend?

Show them again
The effervescent colors of their childhood.

Depict them again
The bouyant laughters they laughed together.

Reckon them again
The times they stood for each other’s thick and thin.

Lead them again
To the alleys where they used to stroll.

Remind them again
The evenings when they flew kites together.

Narrate them again
Their childhood adventures.

May be then
They’ll realise what’s lost.

May be then
They’ll recall a friend who used to be life.

May be then
They’ll unite as the Two Friends again.

The Process called Life

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''Wo kaghaz ki kashti, wo barish ka pani''

Pinks, purples and all their hues
Lured me to a dream land.
Bling and laughter filled the space
Gloom ceased to occur.

From a sulky little girl
To now a poised woman.
Playing in the sun and breaking a knee
Sheathing from tan now is my strategy.

Blabbering around with tales irrelevant
Silent and thoughtful is the new me.
To transit from what i was to what I am, is not the question
To find the same old laughter is my venture.

Building a home with dolls completing my family
In the plastic kitchen, happiness was cooked.
Stars and moon recited me fairytales
Constellations were a puzzle
Striking the rainbow filled life with all colors.

Life uncovered with unknown angles
Misconfigurations,  misconceptions resulted in commotion.
Shadows of past lingered in my mind
For history that was, now I had a clouded mind.

Fumbling with words
I attempt to define the process called life.
An ordered sequence of events staging obligations
Toddler tantrums, childhood adventures and challenges of womanhood.

Sometimes a low, sometimes a cheer
Lighthouse of gleaming sunshine.
A cranky journey or a playful ride
Adolescence coy and womanhood strifes.

Terrified with snippets of unbearable silence and desolation
My heart overwhelms with sounds of all that’s living.
Chased by weaknesses, Decoding the rules of this game
One day I will conquer this baffling trail.

I have many dreams, to decorate my tomorrow
Faithfully fulfilling my liabilities.
A daughter, a sister, a friend I am today
Future relationships to afix with love and care.

Awaiting my stellar source
That’ll keep me shimmering.
Soaring  towards a better tomorrow
With someone who is
like a diamond in the sky.