Zenab Khan- My Childhood Pal.

There i was siting idle. Looking plainly at the wall opposite to me. Unknowing of what life would bring to me. It was just a sudden jolting action that brings me to the consciousness that there must be something more than this.

Recalling the good times i have had. The first and foremost thing i am reminded of is my blessed childhood. There’s no way i can stop myself from ¬†this. And when you recall your childhood, it’s your childhood friend who comes to your brain. Bold, caps , italicized her name goes- ZENAB KHAN ! ! !

And my heart and brain together moulds itself to that first day of school, the first hour, first moment with someone. My childhood buddy. I can go ga ga for her the whole day and night and it would still not be enough. yes, that’s how it goes. the only name i recall in times of happiness and sadness. not every relation i have is this special. You are that one dear to me Zenab.

20 years of absolute bliss!! 20 years of pure friendship. 20 years of smiles and laughters. 20 years of all struggles fought. 20 years of happiness and not a single fight. 20 years of love redefined. 20 years of simplicity. 20 years of awesomeness. 20 years of closeness. 20 years of thew wind bringing us closer. 20 years of uncertainty. 20 years of something. 20 years of an unexplained joy. 20 years of a reason-less relationship. 20 years of this undemanded, unquestionable duos.

Guys, these are the incredible 20 years of our FRIENDSHIP.

“MARYAM KHATOON & ZENAB KHAN”.

Every time we were together, it made me forget the sanity of life and jolts me in a world of euphoria, like time has suddenly got it’s reason to smile, like everything has suddenly been brought to halt. like life coming closer, like falling stars from the sky ,Like i am talking not with my mouth but with my heart, like there are no ears listening to me, a heart listens.

Like i know the boundaries of my world. Not once did we fought in these 20 years. When together like everything fell in it’s place. No pain left to be healed, no wounds left to be removed. Like an all new of everything. Close your eyes and this busy world will come to a beautiful; standstill.

Like you can not find a stop to stop the conversation. the river and stream dont stop to flow, inspired by the energy of this bond inspired by the force between elements of this diverse world. Everything coming close like it never did before. Like the emotion got a new color, a new wave of communicating , a new of everything that your eyes can envision.

Thanks for being there ūüôā

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A Teacher’s Tale

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Engulfed by darkness. Reaching for light.

We never really know the essence of life unless we come close to it. So, how do we come close to it? Grown up in a perfectly pampered up environment, my life would essentially circle around a bunch of cool friends, mediocre lifestyle status, scoring good grades, gearing up for a professional course and basically having fun!

It was only when i finished school and stepped into the world with an unprepared mind for the black and white of the society did i really understand what it takes to be a strong person, to win and lose, to rise and fall, to love, to fail, to fight, to cry, to live and let live.

Owing to the unpredictability of life, i can say, i have seen a lot of it. Quite a Lot! And all of that has gone into the mix for the one and only¬†ambition of my life. The only goal with which i get up everyday from bed. That gives my life it’s meaning.

 To touch lives.

This is what my journey of life is all about. A university topper in computer science chosen by one of India’s leading MNC gives up the lust of the top notch corporate life and goes to become a teacher. Yes, a T-E-A-C-H-E-R . Not that an inspiring story do I have. Just a common girl with uncommon dreams starts her career as a teacher. Plain and simple.
The reason I chose this profession was because I see a lot of things amiss in our societies. I do not target those high level extraordinary qualities of piety, it’s the very basic of emotions like compassion, honesty, equality and love that we devastatingly continuously are failing at. I don’t seek a revolutionary change nor do I intend to erase those huge social stigmas from society because I know I won’t be able to do so. But I want to build up a character in my students such that they know the basic difference between the right and the wrong. To love. To live a life on principles. To fight for truth. To fail with honesty and stand with pride. To be unbiased and never to lie.

I am teaching in Eastern Public School Bhopal. It’s the only IB school in my town. Currently the class teacher for grade 6, I must say I am having a great time. This gives me just the right opportunity of instilling not just academic concepts into their brains but to train my lovely boys and girls with the essence of life.

A bit of philosophical overdose?
May be yes. But that’s how I go and I feel happy each time when one of my students stand up for truth and refrain to lie.

Opening the window to Humanity.

Never To Be A Woman Again

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She came in this world with a smile
Opened her eyes to people she’d call family
Cuddled, caressed and pampered
By kins.

When she was four
The trail of sacrifices began
Her toy was snatched
To be given to her brother.

When she was seven
She quietened her desire
For the expensive pen
They would call it useless.

When she was eighteen
She wanted to learn science
Unworthy she was proven
Forced into her dislike.

When she was twenty three
She wanted to teach
They found a match
Got her married.

When she was thirty
She yearned to fulfil her dreams
Thrashed by life faces
Shooed away her dreams.

When she was fifty
She knew it won’t make a difference
It won’t come back
It won’t work anymore.

Obediently, she let the funeral of her desires
Take a ride.
Bid them off to never call them again.

She fought , she failed.
She cried, she pained
She dreamed, she drained.

She cursed herself.
Never to be a woman again.

Kho Gaya Ek Rishta Mera (I Have Lost A Relation)

In loving memory of my father. He passed away on 16.05.2012. May his soul rest in peace. Aameen.

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(Hindi version)

Kho gaya ek rishta mera

Kale badalon me kahi

Tez barish ki boondo ne

Chupaya diya use kahi

 ungli pakadkr meri

Chalna usne sikhaya

Ladhkhadai jab jab me

Duadna mujhe sikhaya

Uska saya ghane pedh jesa

Thandak wo de jata

Meri choti choti ankho me

Bade khwab wo jagata

Mere ansuon se

Aankh uski num ho jati th

Doli sajne ki baat pe

Laadli badi yaad ati th

Is khapat duniya me

Meri ek deewar thi

Bachati har khatre se mujhe

me beti  apne baap ki thi

samaj ki zanjeero ko

todha usne mere liye

annayaye k har pahad ko

chalanga usne mere liye

cheen liya khuda ne mujhse

sbse pyara rishta mera

yateemo ki fehris me

aane laga ab naam mera

kaap jati hu me

beshara yu hokar

dar lgta hai is duniya me

apne baap ko khokar

ab koi deewar nahi

akeli hu maidan me

toote phoote khwabo ko

jodh rahi hu me

cheen lo meri hr khushi

lauta do wo rishta mera

beti hu apne baap ki

kho gaya ek rishta mera

(English Version)

 I have lost a relation

Somewhere among the black clouds

Harsh raindrops

Hid it somewhere.

My finger, he held

And made me walk

When i stumbled

To run, he taught.

His shadow like a dense tree

Coolness  it radiated

In my small eyes

He lit big dreams.

My tears

Made his eyes moist

Watching a decorated palanquin

He missed her beloved.

In this ferocious world

I had my wall

Protecting me from all dangers

I , was my father’s daughter.

Chains of society

He broke for me

Every mountain of injustice

He jumped for me.

God snatched

My favorite relation

In the list of orphans

My name now comes.

At times , i shiver

Feel helpless

This world scares me

After losing my father.

Now there’s no wall

Alone, i am in the battle field

Lost, broken dreams

I am  recollecting.

Take away all of my happiness

Return me, my relation

I , am my father’s daughter

I have lost a relation.

Walking Miles

Nothing on earth is as beautiful as the sky, the stars and the moon.

Nothing on earth is as beautiful as the sky, the stars and the moon.

Why is it, that sometimes you feel lost. Feel hollow. Feel directionless. You endlessly search for a goal,for something to focus upon, for something that’ll help add meaning to your existence, something that adds value to you,something that makes you feel stronger, feel fresher,feel new and ready for this world all over again!

Yes, there are days when you need a reason that will froth your smile, That’ll plunge you into the bliss of satisfaction. Help you overcome the sour realities of life, the lost battles, the crushed dreams. ¬†And you search, search, just endlessly search…

And one day you hear a voice in your head, may be God loves you the most, may be you are his strongest soldier, may be you are that unsung warrior who’s valor is sky high. And this makes you different.

And you connect to the following lines,

The woods are lovely,dark and deep

But,  I have many promises keep

And miles to go before i sleep

Miles to go before i sleep.

-Robert Frost

On this journey of miles you see that undying love in your mother’s eyes, you nestle in her warmth. It feels good. You see a friend who doesn’t cry with you,but tries his best to make you laugh. Pokes and nudges you. It feels good. You see your blog followers, genuine and honest with their compassion. It feels good. You see the vast sky , decorated with stars and moon. It feels good.

And you suddenly realize-Life has a meaning. You reinvent your soul. The bubble of your life takes it rise. Higher towards the blue sky. Defining new goals. This time your feet doesn’t tremble to walk because you fly.

Enclosing within it, lots of love from family, friends and followers.

P.S.  A thank note to my family, dear friends and some very special blog followers.  Their support was much needed.

Accompanying Life

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One of my ULTRA FAVOURITE songs-

Main zindagii ka saath nibhaataa chalaa gayaa
I faithfully followed wherever life took me

Har fikr ko dhuein mein udataa chalaa gayaa
I blew every worry into a mist of smoke

Barbaadiyon  shok manaanaa fizuul tha
It was pointless to grieve about my destruction,

Barbaadiyon ka jashn manaataa chalaa gayaa
So I kept making a celebration of my destruction!

Har fikr ko dhuein mein udaataa chalaa gayaa
I blew every worry into a mist of smoke

Jo mil gayaa usii ko muqaddar samajh liyaa
Whatever came my way I considered to be my destiny

Jo kho gayaa mein usko bhulaataa chalaa gayaa
Whatever was lost to me, I kept putting out of my mind.

Har fikr ko dhuein mein udataa chalaa gayaa
I blew every worry into a mist of smoke

Gham aur khushi mein farq na mehsuus ho jahaan
That state where happiness and sorrow are indistinguishable

Main dil ko us muqaam pe laataa chalaa gayaa
That realm is where I kept pushing my heart

Har fikr ko dhuein mein uDaataa chalaa gayaa
I blew every worry into a mist of smoke.

Sublime Hope

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My thoughts pure as a white rose
From maligning them, I detest.

My destination is a bright star
From falling ,my steps I guard.

Embarking on my strong will
I trudge my path.

Loom of hatred and lies
Circling me around.

Unaware of how high I rise
My hopes shall keep me astound.

#A famous song in urdu, from a Pakistani Drama.